Book: Night at Suck Mansion
Night at Suck Mansion
Stories in Verse, by Joe Gallagher. Illustrations by Goodloe Byron.
Three tales of angstful adventure await you in this hilarious brouhaha of rain-soaked idiocy. Follow our young narrator as he discovers what a douchebag he used to be and how lucky he is now. At times funny, at times sad, at all times romantic and weird, this volume will teach you life’s most important lesson: never to hang out with girls who live in time-traveling castles.
And I thought we could unpaint our picket fences,
Instead your sister informed me, “She’s been channeling your exes!”
That’s when this night went from strange to demented:
I’d chased myself into the halls of Suck Mansion.
Sometimes it’s made of rain, sometimes adobe,
Sometimes my soft skin clinging like Velcro.
I parted a waterfall door like a curtain.
There you reclined, furiously dry.